Help for life matters

How to detect Stress

2011-06-28T10:19:00.000-07:00

Everybody has stress. Stress is a common part of life and positive stress is healthy and can help you achieve certain goals in your life, but negative stress can prevent you from reaching your goals and cause mental and/or physical pain.

These are the seven major causes of stress:
1) Financial
2) Work
3) Family
4) Personal
5) Health & Safety
6) Relationships
7) Death/grief and loss

Stress is unique to each of us. We all have stress triggers that we carry in our sub-conscious mind. Many of these triggers came from responses we had from emotional or physical hurt or pain of some nature. Some stress triggers came of things we have seen or heard. Yes, even movies or dreams. Most of these stresses embedded in our mind by the age of 9 years old. This is when the sub-conscious mind closes the filter between the conscious and sub-conscious mind. This traps these stress triggers possibly for the rest of your life unless you and/or professional goes "stress trigger hunting". Becoming aware of your stressors is only 1/4 of the work. 3/4 of the work desensitizing or patterning the old triggers. This can be done many ways, some faster and some slower.

You can use:
1) Visualization or imagery
2) Desensitizing releases
3) Self talk
4) Pattern the old outcome
5) Design and balance your sub-conscious and conscious minds
6) Shovel and pail - dig deep!

Of course there are many more methods.

Of course many individuals choose to take medication to mask there stress triggers, (not knowing there are alternative and more efficient ways to handle their stressors) this does not change or delete them. It only makes you dependent on the medication, which compromises your ability to feel emotion appropriately. This has become a problem around the world. Take matters into you own hands and get a stress free life by knowing, handling and getting rid of your stress triggers.

Start today!! I have been helping people nationally for over 26 years--there is nothing better than completely living feeling life.It is worth your effort, you own it to yourself. Happy Digging!!

Opposites Attract!

2011-06-21T21:18:00.000-07:00

You may have heard the saying "opposites attract" when it comes to relationships, and for the most part this is very true. But I bet you do not know why opposites attract. Well, today is your lucky day.

There are 2 behavioral categories that people do fall into, physical and emotional. Each person has attributes of there opposites and nobody is 100% of a behavioral category. This is what creates the E & P attraction during dating and new marriages.

These are partial lists of behavioral attractions that can help you identify which category you prevail in. These E&P lists is indicative to both male and female genders.

The first category is the Physical, kindly know as "P".

They tend to show there emotions
They are very comfortable with their physical body, they tend to wear clothing      that shows off their body.
They are very comfortable with their sexuality.
They are typically "in-love" with their relationships.
They are usually family oriented.
They pick jobs that let them express there feelings.
They come from their heart (very spontaneous).
They prefer to spend money they earn on activities, things, something for the
     family or something they enjoy themselves, paying bills is not a priority.
They like to be physically active and they are more prone to team sports.
They have a natural aptitude for parenting.
They usually like to be on the phone.
They tend to be more monogamous.
They tend to set the mood in a situation or a gathering.
They will confront a situation if needed
They tend to be the life of the party.
They tend to fantasize and embellish on stories .

The second category is the Emotional,  kindly know as "E".

They tend to control their emotions and possibly suppress their emotions.
They are very uncomfortable with their body's, they tend to where oversize clothes.
They are very uncomfortable with their sexuality, because their second      care-giver did not express love to them.
They tend to like intrigue and comfortably in the relationship, they are not      fond of change.
They are usually undemonstrative and can be a bit of a loner.
They tend to pick more intellectual jobs.
They are head-ruled (they must think, think, and think).
They prefer financial security, bills must be paid first.
When physically active they are more prone to individual mentally challenging      sports, including sports with an element of danger.
They become better parents when the children are older and are able to express themselves more intelligently.
They like to text, write or email vs talking on phone.
They try to break down the confidence in the relationship.
They tend to recluse to get away from a negative mood.
They will avoid confrontation if at all possible.
They prefer to socialize one-on-one or small intimate party.
They are realistic, logical and expresses self logically.

*Behavioral dysfunctions may distort the listed personality and create turmoil in the dating or marriage process. For example; fear of intimacy, extreme shyness, extreme ownership, etc...

These are how we respond when we are comfortable in a relationship or not in a relationship.
I test my clients to see where they fall on the E&P attraction scale to help them better understand themselves and why there attracted to their opposite.

When an Emotional enters into a new relationship, they will act out like a Physical. When the relationship balances out to the norm the Emotional will return back to there normal emotional sexuality. At this point, this is when the Physical in the E & P attraction says that the Emotional has changed. In truth, they just go back to there normal behavior sexuality.

If you are in a relationship and you are loosing the attraction, there are many ways to avoid the natural pitfalls that come with dating or early marriages.

Has your spouse changed after they joined the Marines?

2011-06-03T13:33:00.000-07:00

For half of the men and women who join the Marines are subjected to loosing the way they would normally take in and process communication. This can result in breaking communication flows in relationships. Therefore understanding one another can be complicated or can create conflicts. Sometimes defenses are built to try to cope with the new way they must communicate, this can add further conflicts. So if you are a spouse of a Marine and this has happened to you don't give up your marriage, there's hope.

Tips to help:

If you are a person that talks in circles (meaning using more words to explain a simple situation or request..not blunt! ) you will have to realize that your spouse no longer understands or tolerates your natural way of communicating. You will need to learn how to express yourself in less verbage to keep your spouse from getting frustrated and board.

If you understand that this in-congruency in the brain of the Marine can cause anger and frustration to show itself more in their personality then you will understand that they are less tolerant of many things.

Instead of assuming your spouse, the Marine, knows what you are wanting, tell them what you want. Be as direct as possible.

All this and more can help